Marguerite Duras is a celebrated French author. At the moment in Melbourne there is a one woman play about her life. It explores some of the controversy around her life, namely that at the age of fourteen she had an affair with an older man. She wrote about this in her book ‘The Lover’. I was reading a review of the play when I came across this quote from an academic who specialises in Duras.
“Because he was in his late 20’s, he admits the affair is illegal under French law, but it was not so horrendous in those times.” Those times being French Indochina during the 20’s.
Sexual mores change and I’m fascinated by that change. What was not so horrendous back then? Were 14 year old girls more mature than they are now and therefore better able to cope? I think not. I would suggest that 14 year olds are more mature today, certainly more worldly wise. If it was not so horrendous then why is it more horrendoius now? What has changed? Our attitudes of course. The 80’s saw an increase in concern over psychological trauma and a growing fear about child abuse. It is horrendous now because we believe girls must be traumatized by sex. Never mind that people like the famous singer Loretta Lynne was happily married at just 13 (legal back then).
14 year olds haven’t changed much. The difference is the increase in moral panic over these issues. Duras never regretted her affair.
Maybe it has something to do with expectations regarding gender equality- the expectation now that society let young people, and especially women, develop to the point which they can make an informed choices. I think that there is a fair point to be made that a forteen year old doesn’t usually understand the full implications of their actions, especially in the sexual world of the modern “West.” I don’t know if it does, but maybe that kind of activity can set up a lifelong expectation of the way relationships “should” be this in turn limits adaptability and acceptance in more manogomy oriented culture. How old do you need to be to really comprehend sexual choices?