Following on from something Edward said – I agree that Tantra needs to be transcended and included. I also think that much of our sexual morality should likewise be either included or transcended. As far as I’m concerned a great deal of our sexual morality is based on mythic thinking. When you examine sexual mores from a rational/integral perspective you realise that many of them are irrational.
The best way to sort out the irrationality is to examine specific instances. For example, imagine it’s Spring. It’s a beautiful sunny day so you decide to take your family for a walk in the park. You notice that the season has encouraged young lovers to cuddle and kiss. It gives you a wistful feeling and your partner comments on how romantic it is. Your daughter notices one couple lying on the grass in a close embrace and a passionate kiss. She says ‘yuck’ as many kids might and you shrug your shoulders and think how nice it would be to experience the first bloom of new love.
Now transplant that scene to India or any Muslim country. Instead of having wistful thoughts you are outraged at the display of public indecency. The police are called and the young lovers are arrested and charged with public obscenity. The local governor mkaes a public statement about the decline in public morals and hints at the dire consequences of allowing degenerate Western morality to affect the youth of India/Muslim country.
Of course as Westerners we know that kissing and cuddling in public is not a sign of the decline of public morals. We regard kissing as a perfectly acceptable thing. But not so of course, in India or Muslim countries, where unmarried couples holding hands is scandalous. I don’t think it is arrogant of us to think that Hindu/Muslim concerns are somewhat silly and overwrought. Society will survive quite well if couples can hold hands and kiss in public.
So let us return to our first scenario, but this time the couple kissing passionately have gone a step further. They are having sex. It’s not secretive. They are naked and in the throws of passion. Your daughter says ‘yuck’ as many kids might and you shrug your shoulders and think how nice it would be to experience such passion again. But this is never going to happen is it? Our own moral guardians will be shouting about the decline in public morals. You may even feel that this scenario is a step too far. But is it? What actual harm is being done? I can’t think of the name of the city, it’s German, I think it’s Hamburg, but there is a public park where nude sun bathing is permitted. There seems to be no harm in this, but it would be considered outrageous in New York.
I’ve encountered a couple having sex. We were walking on a beach when we saw them engrossed in the act. We had two girls with us. They weren’t shocked, just fascinated and even excited they had seen ’someone doing it’. We turned back of course, but behind us was a group of four Tibetan monks (this is true) who continued on. We turned to see one taking a photo of three of them with the couple in the background. They thought it was hilarious and we found the whole scene rather surreal. Then another group of people walked on. I do have one regret, that we didn’t stay to see the reaction of the couple when they realised all these people, including monks, had arrived. No one was shocked and everyone was smiling about it.
It seems to me that there is nothing wrong with having sex in public. There is no harm to society. It will not collapse because of a decline of public morality. Nor will children be harmed if they see people having sex. My brother encountered a couple on a school excursion. They threw stones at the couple for a laugh. My parents didn’t go into moral shock on hearing that he had been exposed to public sex and the story is sometimes repeated with amusement.
It’s the attitude that matters. We do not teach children that kissing in public is highly immoral, even sinful, so they learn to think nothing of it. The same can apply with sex, in fact in many tribal societies children do witness all sorts of sexual activity and some tribal groups treat this with humour. We would say that these tribal children have become sexualised, but wouldn’t a Hindu/Muslim say that about our children witnessing (shock, horror) kissing?
In other words, aren’t our sexual mores every bit as irrational as Hindus/Muslims? Wouldn’t a rational/integral society get rid of irrational morality? Do you have a line you think shouldn’t be crossed? Do you think couples should have sex in public places? Why not? Does that line exist for rational reasons or do you hold irrational moral beliefs?