I was very encouraged by debate on TV last night (Insight, SBS). The topic was sex and teens. I suppose I’m encouraged because the teens largely agreed with what I’ve been saying in regards to sex education. The program focused on teens and I was impressed by many of the teens represented. For example, a 16 year-old girl who co-hosted a sex education program on local youth radio (SYN FM) and a 19 year-old girl (I’d should say young woman, but girl has only 4 letters) who works for an organization that informs teens about STIs. These girls were all confident and articulate.
One very good piece of news that came out of the discussion was that there has been wide spread rejection of the US abstinence approach. It ain’t gonna happen in Oz. Another surprising revelation (for me) was that a Liberal senator, Judith Troeth (in Oz the Liberal party are the conservatives) is studying the possibility of a compulsory, national sex education approach. I was surprised because Troeth said some quite progressive things and acknowledged that Australian sex education was patchy and started too late.
The program had a representative from the Catholic Church who looked uncomfortable and troubled most of the time. My reading of his discomfort was that the teens were clearly ignoring what he had to say and one teen asked him about his personal sexual experience. Anyway, it conforms to my view that the Church has lost a great deal of moral authority over the issue.
Another surprise was a fifteen year-old who calmly admitted she first had sex when she was 12. When asked if she regretted it and thought it was too young she said ‘no’. When asked later she said that if she had known more about STIs she might have decided not to.
There seemed to be a general agreement amongst the teens that education should start at around age 9/10 and that the early teen years should focus on relationships. What some teens most wanted to understand was why they were attracted to certain people and how to manage the emotions around the attraction. I support this. Then in late teens they can return to a deeper look at sexuality, the history of sexuality, cultural variations, the psychology of sex, etc…
Another thing the teens seemed to agree on was that sex education should contain more information on how to have good sex.
The problem in the Anglo/American (Canada being the most progressive) world is that there is a taboo about discussing sex. This means that many parents feel embarrassed talking to their kids about sex and because schools are public institutions they shouldn’t talk about sex either, so kids are left to find out for themselves. I was encouraged to see so many teens appearing to be very comfortable ‘talking’ about sex.
There is still appalling ignorance out there but I’m encouraged things will improve. And thank God the idiotic abstinence approach has been largely rejected in Oz.
On a final and perhaps challenging note. As part of my research into my novel I started exploring the biographical details of prominent porn stars. I know that there is a risk much of it may be fabricated, but we also have to accept that much of it may be genuine. What interests me is the effect of the porn narrative on society. Porn is widespread and many teens access it. What are they making of it? The topic of porn was mentioned last night and the teens seemed to understand that it was fantasy, with one boy noting the use of viagra and over-sized actors. But the thing that intrigues me is that as porn becomes more acceptable the individual stories of the porn actors become better known. Actors like Jenna Jameson become minor celebrities. These narratives are subversive of the normal stereotypes and transgress normal perceptions of sexuality. Take the example of one Latino porn star. She first saw porn when she was 9. Had her first sexual experience with another girl when she was 11, with a man when she was 12. She loved sex and decided to be a porn star when she was 15 and as soon as she turned 18 did her first shoot. She says she regularly orgasms during porn shoots (including anal orgasms) and loves her work. She is doing well for herself and has a plan to leave the industry when she is around 25. You see, the stereotype is of a stupid, oppressed woman forced to do porn because of poverty, drugs or a pimp boyfriend. They do exist, but less so. Jenna Jameson has created her own multi-million dollar company.
I suspect there is a memetic earthquake going on, a gap between what Gen Y thinks of sex and what the Boomers think. This Latino porn star is Gen Y. I’ve encountered the bios of other 18/19/20 year-olds entering the porn industry. Many seem to do it for fun and are happy to do the most explicit and taboo things. Of course exhibitionists are attracted to porn – but the point is this. In the past the nymphomaniac and exhibitionist was derided and shunned, they were problematized and pathologized. But as porn becomes more mainstream their stories get told.
So it doesn’t surprise me to hear a soft spoken teen girl with thick glasses and braces on her teeth say that she sees nothing wrong with being curious about sex and experimenting at the age of 12.
The public debate is still controlled by old conservative men who are not in touch with what the emerging generation think about sex.